Thursday, August 4, 2016

The dead ringer of my reflection (pc:me)

     His eyes were as piercing as skyscrapers; easy to fall into and riveting me to new heights.
His chiseled jaw could slit glass, but just like glass, things shatter. It was easy to justify how we came to be. He practically oozed  sweet kindness from every fiber in his soul.   After being puppeteered through the worst relationship in my life, he fit the part of a doctor prescribing an unknowing script for my heart. He seemed to be able put band aids on all my wounds, but some wounds are deeper than others. As you know, a band aid can only cover up the afflicting agony, but it was revealing. I was always my best self with him. It was hard to make it work, but I knew I would regret losing it.

     Compared to the other, he was the real mirror. The other was more of a fun house amusement park, where I could only see pixelated, blown up out of proportion images, but he was different. It always goes back to glass. The truth was.... I could see a future with him and most importantly, a better version of myself.  But I let go too soon when I ran scared.
   
     Titanic had nothing on me. Like an iceberg hitting, I hit bare ground. I let all the many good things sink from my thoughts and slip through my fingers. Once I realized what despair I was about to face, it was too far to grasp.  There were so many moments that I wanted to relive and summon my courage to rekindle the fire, but it couldn't be rewritten. He was moving and what was left of the mirror was too hard to put back together. Scratch that. It wasn't even recognizable. I was unrecognizable. With my best self gone, I gulped down this bitter pill and looked for acceptance. I had messed up. Majorly. With regrets for the rest of my life.

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